Mitu and Myri’s Excellent Adventure

11 Aug

As promised, the collected insanity of two days of driving with an overstuffed car and a cat. You can find Mitu’s summation of the adventure here, which might make this a bit easier to follow, come to think of it, as it’s mostly just a bunch of pictures and out-of-context quotes. Minor language ahead…

D = Dea (via text message), H = Haley (via human interpreter), K = Mitu, M = me.

Day 0: Packing and Planning (and Pursuing emPloyment)

Searching for points of interest and hilarity to break up the trip
K: Wisconsin is weird.
M: …I’ve never been to the giant eyeball.
K: No? It’s got a fish next to it.

Writing cover letters
M: This is what this sentence should say—make it sound pretty.

Upon learning water may not be turned on in K’s new apartment
M: I need to pee–Mitu, drive me to the gas station!

K: Where…OCTOPUS!!

K turns and sees octopus hanging from M’s ear
K: as if this were the most normal thing in the world If you want, you can also hang him like this.
K hooks octopus tentacle into already low neckline of M’s shirt

Whilst K and M attempt to sleep, kitten attacks M from underneath cot
M: I’m being pugilized in the ass!

Day 1: Cat in the Car

Yarn explosion. Because naturally knitting was the only thing keeping me awake.

H has been suspiciously silent
K: How is she?
M: She’s either sleeping or dead.
D: …Do you have a preference?

Because all doctor’s appointments should be canceled while kneeling backwards in the passenger seat, with the assistance of the cat.

H explores the back of the car and begins to set up camp
M: She’s nesting, oh my god…
K: At least she isn’t peeing…

Helpful, Haley, really helpful. It’s not like we left that space clear for a reason…

M yelps during sudden lane change
K: I was moving over because there was an asshole on my ass.
M: …I…hope so?

Mitu pets faster than the eye can see!

Discussing H’s eye infection
M: We can have a pirate kitty! Black Beard…Black Butt…Black Beluga.

Yes, Haley. Because all my dinner was lacking was your claws in my knee.

Day 2: Signs and Sunshine (also Sunburn and Starting to Settle)

K carries H, in crate, out of motel room
K: Oh. Hey. Cat.
H’s head and shoulders emerge from crate…

Oh, you mean you DIDN’T want me to magically unhook the grate and escape?

K: Oh. Hey. Cat.
H climbs out of crate, over K’s shoulder and into lap

Let’s see, if I pull up on this lever…

During an hour of very insistent meowing
H: Mommy mommy I have to poop!

You’d better stop soon or I’ll go right here.

Reading signs in Ohio and Kentucky
K: Sligo. Oh my god Sligo.

I had no idea Kentucky was near Poland. Or Thermopylae.

K: Santa Claus. Ferdinand. Jasper.
M: It sounds like you’re trying to name a cat.
K: Please don’t ever name a cat Santa Claus.

I think it’s supposed to be KenTUCKiana….but it looks more like……!

Wondering how other travelers perceive K, M, and H
M: Do they think we’re roommates or do they see two lesbians with their cat?

I call this “Cat in Mirror #3.” K calls it “SO NOT HELPING.” The police have presented it to the court as “Exhibit A” in the case People vs. Instigators of Car Crash.

H is blocking the rear view mirror. Again.
M: The cat is nesting.
K: On the bacon.

Charming, Haley, just charming.

K flips open dash compartment holding pen and paper

Get your mind out of the gutter.

Soundtrack for a Successful Roadtrip:

“Fighting Trousers” by Professor Elemental
“Airship Pirate” by Abney Park
“Mona Lisa” by Panic! at the Disco
“Brother” by Murder by Death
“Love You Anyway” by Boyzone
“Physical” by Olivia Newton-John and Jane Lynch
“Wannabe” by the Spice Girls
“All you wanted” by Michelle Branch
“The Bad Touch” by the Bloodhound Gang
“Hypnotized” by Jeffrey Straker
“Brand New Ocean” by same
“Slings and Arrows” by same
“Sad Songs” by same
“Alejandro” by Lady GaGa
“Poker Face” by same
“Born This Way” by same
“Judas” by same
“Shut Up and Drive” by Rhianna
“Only Girl in the World” by same
“S&M” by same
“I Like It” by Enrique Iglesias ft. Pitbull
“Tonight (I’m Loving You)” by Enrique Iglesias ft. Ludacris
“Break Your Heart” by Taio Cruz ft. Ludacris
“Dynamite” by Taio Cruz (with lyrics changed to Doctor Who parody)
“Starstrukk” by 3Oh!3
“My First Kiss” by 3Oh!3 ft. Ke$ha
“Oh Oh Oh Sexy Vampire” by Fright Ranger

1 Comment

Posted by on 11.8.2011 in Cats, Life


Tags: , , , , ,

One response to “Mitu and Myri’s Excellent Adventure

  1. mitukagome

    11.9.2011 at 7:57 pm

    Just re-reading this … ah, good times. That’s a really nice photo of Haley when you’re cancelling your drs appt.


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