The Continuing Chronicles of Myriad’s Missing Motivation (woo, alliteration!)
So, about that whole job search thing. I feel like I don’t even have anything new to say about it at this point; it’s all just an increasing swirl of anxiety, terror, glumness, and/or defensive apathy, with occasional paradoxical flashes of pessimism and entitlement. As in, “Ahhhhh what will I do if I don’t get a job for next year I can’t spend another year like this one living with my parents is killing my soul ahhhh!!!!” and, “Well, I guess I’ll be able to stay with my AVID kids. And knit a lot. And the cat will be happy,” and, “Ahh scary panic attack imminent – oh, whatever, I don’t care, I’m not going to think about it, I don’t feel like applying for jobs today,” all topped off with either “No one will ever hire me!” or “I deserve a job, damnit!” depending on the day.
So, yeah. I’ve been trying to get something done every day, but the past few weeks have been difficult. I sort of fell out of my rhythm, and my failed attempts to get back in the groove led to the expected increases in insomnia and stomach acid production. (Dear body: I really can’t afford to lose more weight. Stop reacting to everything by making it difficult to eat.)
To get back in the groove, however, I have a short-term plan. I’ll worry about things beyond this next week when I have to; for now, I’m just going to take it a day at a time or else I will completely lose it. Therefore, oh readers (all…two? of you…oh and HI FBI!), I present to you THE PLAN:
Apply to at least one school (preferably three) each day through April 30th.
If I manage that, then I get to break my yarn fast and finally place an order for the yarn I need for my current list of gift knits.
If I manage to apply to multiple schools each day…I haven’t decided yet. Suggestions are welcome. And I need you, oh readers (HI FBI!), to help keep me honest.
3 schools: NMH, W, GDS. I won’t list the full names because I’d like to keep some pretense of anonymity out here in the interwebs…
Six more days to go. I think I can I think I can I think I can…